The Bashing King

Why are May-December Love Affairs so rampant these days? Is this the new trend? Unbelievable isn't it. Gone are the days when this was considered taboo. In the modern world, these types of relationships are so "out" that even the local celebs are tasting the cradle. So to speak.

First it was Madam Auring and her 20 year old Boytoy Archie Mendoza, then Pops Fernandez-Brad Turvey, followed by Vicky Belo-Hayden Kho, and Willie Revillame and his 19 year old bimbo whose name has not been made public. I think.

Now its Ruffa Gutierrez and John Lloyd Cruz. The first time I heard this on the news, I almost fell of my chair laughing. it was so hilariously disturbing in many ways. Both of them kept on denying the issue but Ruffa's tactless mother gave her own stand on it saying that she doesn't approve of poor ol' Loydie. Si Ruffa naman eh panay ang pagdadabog sa The Buzz dahil sa mga pinagsasabi ng nanay nya. Please, it doesn't take a genius to connect the dots.

What I dont understand is, what do they see in each other? She's old enough to be his mother for god's sake. And Loydie seems to be taking his break-up with Liz Uy badly. I mean c'mon, he actually fell for someone like Ruffa who's been sucked and tucked so many times that her ass can now be used as a hat.

And Ruffa, couldn't she get someone who isn't still in diapers? Naubusan na ba sya ng mga pwedeng pagpilian or is she worried that marrying someone in her own generation would lead to her being made into a punching bag again. Wala ba syang kahihiyan? Wala ba syang delikadesa? Isn't she supposed to be a role model because of the whole beauty queen thing? Well some role model she is.

Im sure that a lot of you know about Marian Rivera's Nesvita commercial where she constantly says the word 'beautiful'. Well I dont know if any of you have noticed but the commercial being aired now has been re-dubbed. When the commercial was first released she pronounced the word beautiful as ''byotefol''. Kaya ngayon they changed the way she pronounced it. She now says it properly.

Another would be her TM commercial with Ding-Dong Dantes. Para syang bisaya magtagalog dun ah. Sus ginoo gyod! Kaya ngayon iba na ang babae na nasa TM commercial with Ding-Dong.

I've seen two new commercials of Marian Rivera pero this time hindi na sya nagsasalita. Bakit kaya? Can anyone guess?! Hahaha. Bakit naman kasi hinahayaan ang isang palengkera na mag hasik ng lagim sa TV. Hindi na nga sya marunong magsalita, hindi pa sya marunong sumayaw. Dont tell me na naiimpress kayo sa dance moves nya when clearly, ang alam lang nyang sayawin is her dance from Marimar which was originally by Thalia. At nag-release pa sya ng dance album. Hasn't the music industry learned their lesson when they allowed Gerald Anderson and Valerie Concepcion to release dance albums?!

Marian Rivera is just another pretty face. She's pretty but in a tranny way though. Mas maganda at mas magaling pa atang magsalita si BB Gandanghari compared to her.

Lately, her Talk and Text Commercial was released. Oh my fucking God, she acts like a complete whore in that commercial. The thing about Marian Rivera is, she's pretty and that's a given. The problem is, once she opens her mouth everything gets ruined.

The moment Marian Rivera opens her mouth to talk, its like walking around the market and I swear to God it feels like a fish will come out of her mouth and she'll say "o suki suki dito mura lang". She reminds me of Toni Gonzaga who pronounces Manolo Blahnik as "Manolo Blanek". Dapat yang dalawang yan ang magkasama para pag na-inteview sila on what brands they use, they can both say that they like "Hermees Berken" and "Luis Vuwiton". They can be called "Mga Prinsesa ng Banyera na hinugut mula sa tadyang ni Marimar". What ya think?

Jacqui O. once known as Bale from the hit fantasy TV show during the early 90's "Okay Ka Fairy Ko". Before becoming Jacqui O., she was known as Jinky Oda. The picture above shows her before and after picture. Nakakatakot diba. She looks like something that came out of a horrible Grade B movie. She looks like the monster from the 1990's Filipino Film, "Halimaw sa Banga".

Jinky naman, ano ang naisipan mo at hinayaan mong babuyin ka ng ganyan. And of all names, why Jacqui O.? What does the O. stand for? Oda? Para ka nang si Charice Pempengco nyan who dropped her last name kasi in fairness nga naman eh ang baho pakinggan ng last name nya. Kahit anong pag pronounce ang gawin ni Oprah at Ellen Degeneres eh ang baho parin pakinggan ng last name nya. "Pem-peng-coh" kung i-pronounce ni Ellen and Oprah. Sounds like "i-no-do-roh". Kaya ngayon Charice nalang.

So ganun ka din? Are you trying to make a statement?! Is the statement,

"Look at me everyone. I am so incesure of my looks that I want to be the next Michael Jackson but this time I wont use 'vitiligo' as an excuse. First I had my skin bleached and next I'm gonna have my lips injected with collagen like Gretchen Barreto and Pops Fernandez, my hips and thighs will be sucked and tucked like Kris Aquinos, I'll have my nose fixed like Regine Velasquez and of course I'll have the rest done by Vicky Belo para I'll look like Dingdong and Piolo because if I go to Calayan I'll look like Boy Abunda. Diba Dra. Belo tama naman?"

I cannot believe what these people will do for the sake of vanity. Maganda na si Jinky Oda noon. Even though her skin was dark, at least nadadala nya pero ngayon nakakatakot na syang tignan. Its like, pag tinignan mo sya eh she's gonna say something in an incomprehensible dead language then you're gonna turn to stone. Mabuti naman sana if it looks natural eh hindi naman. Mukha syang naligo ng arena. She looks like a marble statue. Ang laswa. Nakakakilabot.

Hide your children!!! For the love of God hide your children before this thing eats them!!!

This is Anna Maria Perez De Tagle. Kung sino man ang nagsasabi na sya ang susunod na Lea Salonga eh mahiya ka sa balat mo. First of all, the only time Anna Maria was ever given a role was in Camp Rock where she had a very MINOR role. Halos wala nga syang lines doon eh. I've watched the movie like 5 times kaya I'M SURE. Tapos nag back up lang sya sa song na Hasta La Vista. Eh hindi na nga marunong kumanta yan, hindi pa marunong umarte. Tapos you're pinning her as the next Lea Salonga. Ilang fields pa ng palay ang kakainin ng babaeng yan bago maabot ang dumi sa sapatos ni Lea Salonga.

Lea Salonga is a Tony award winning international actress. Nagets nyo yun? She has been on several major broadway productions and has been one the few filipinos to have a concert in Carniege hall. Kaya wag nyong icocompare is Anna Maria Perez De Tagle to Lea Salonga kasi they're not on the same level. Hell, they're not even on the same scale.

At hindi nyo ba alam na si Lea Salonga eh may multiple accents? Pag pumupunta sya ng london kahit ilang araw lang sya doon, pag bumalik sya ng pilipinas eh british na ang accent nya. Pag pumupunta naman sya ng american eh nagiging american ang accent nya. And so forth and so on. Kaya ba ni Anna Maria yan.

Tapos ngayon just because she got a role in the remake of the 1980 movie Fame, she feels like she's some superstar diva bitch from hell? At kinukunsinti naman sya ng mga mamayang pilipino. Hindi nyo na ba alam ang pinagkaiba ng taong may talento sa taong wala?!

Dont call her as the next Lea Salonga because it'll never happen. Look at her picture above. Siguro the next Amy Winehouse pwede pa.

Palm Sunday is that one time of the year when people in the Philippines buy those things made out of palm leaves. Its when Catholics remember that they have a religion and stop all their bullshit for one day. I think they call it palaspas. Well anyway I find it very funny when all those catholics go to the church carrying a buttload of those palm things and wave it around and some even hit themselves with it. I'm like, "What is that all about?". I dont see the importance of shaking those things around. Sa tingin ba ng mga katoliko na yan eh mawawala ang mga kasalanan nila pag ginawa nila yun? Kahit ilang libong beses nilang ipalo sa sarili nila yan eh hindi mawawala mga kasalanan nila.

Some would even hang these things on their front doors after palm sunday. This practice is inspired by the belief that any blessed object like a palaspas wards of the devil and when displayed in one’s home shields it from natural calamities as well as the supernatural beings. Mga Baliw! Nagpapaniwala kayo sa mga ganyan. Kung totoo yan, bakit nabubuhay pa ang mag katulad nila Kris Aquino, Boy Abunda, at Marian Rivera. Eh diba mga Supernatural beings yang mga yan.

I have never understood the worship rituals of the poor. The poorly educated that is. They spend how much on those things thinking that by waving and shaking it, God will forgive them for all of their sins. Mga adik kayo. You believe in false hope, in preachings saying that God will forgive you or that God will make your lives easier if you do those. Catholics are so gullible. Sa dami ng kasalanan ng mga katoliko eh kahit yung mismong palm tree ang ipalo nila sa sarili nila eh they wont be redeemed of their sins. Mga ignorante kayo.

At least those things will be useful when those catholics go to hell. They can wave it around and use it to ward off satans minions. O kaya naman gamitin nila pang-alis ng masasamang espiritu gaya nila Boy Abunda and Kris Aquino.